I have Stonehall'd all. Stonehalled-all.

Dixie currently feels:

Jealous

 

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This blog is for my fellow bespectacled counterparts.

All of the specky, visually impaired, short-sighted, blind-as-a-bat, four-eyed geeks like myself.

 

All of those with 20/20 vision, or contact lenses - you won't understand.

 

Of course, wearing glasses gives you the impression that you're intelligent.

The nerds of the world spend their time sat at computers, reading books, playing video games - our eyes are damaged, so we're forced to wear these discs of refracting glass on our faces.

 

And, there's the bonus of being able to look straight ahead in a blizzard or gale - and not having to squint.

 

But then, there's the walking in the rain.

- Glasses don't come with windscreen wipers, and they SHOULD.

 

There's the swimming.

- It's pretty damn impossible to see the other side of the pool without them, for most, so stay out of our lane.

 

There's the general rough and tumble of the day.

- I've had mine knocked off my face by about four different clumsy people now.

The first one happened the day after I got them!

 

And of course, you'd have to remove them in a mosh pit.

I've knocked mine off myself many a time by forgetting to take them off before I slammed on a bit of Rammstein.

 

 

But don't forget - the worst possible thing about glasses...

 

LOSING THEM ON YOUR HEAD.

 

Seriously!

The world all laugh - when we're looking for them, they're balanced on our head.

 

"Where are they?" - we wail.

"I can't see without them!" - we panic.

 

Eventually, we're told that they're on our head.

And that's when you feel like an idiot - and you may even blush.

 

Mine steam up when I blush.

As well as coming in from the cold weather outside - there! Another downside! Steaming up!

 

 

For all of you non-bespectacled people...

When they're on our head... We don't feel them!

 

They're very light. They're designed to be.

They're comfortable too - they get fitted to the shape of our heads.

 

It's just like when you're wearing a cap, or a hairband. You don't realise it's there after a while.

 

Spare us the humiliation and the panic, two-eyed people of the world.

 

Just tell us where they are, please.

 

 

 

"Hmmm... I don't know! Where DID I put them...?"